'You're not making sense, lady': Female computational biologist undermined by male IT employees who tell her ‘she doesn't make sense', leading to office dispute

Author image for Eleonora Bader
Eleonora Bader
Mar 27, 2024 11:00 AM EDT

One female computational biologist who was working in a high-security institution without direct admin access to their machines had to frequently rely on IT support for software installations and updates. Initially, her relationship with IT was okay, but over time, it deteriorated. It became super frustrating for her because she felt like they were being purposely condescending. We're talking about a woman who is a Ph.D. candidate.… Let's just say she's more than qualified to do her job.

Whenever she requested specific software versions due to compatibility issues, they dismissed her concerns, saying the newer versions 'should work'. Well, they obviously weren't working, or she wouldn't have approached them in the first place. The IT employees were also failing to offer effective solutions. If it's supposed to work, but it doesn't… then why? What can be done? These dudes were not doing their job right. Scroll down to read how it all unfolded, and what women in tech had to say about the matter.

Then, check out this female data scientist who had multiple issues with her boss, and was called out during a meeting for literally doing her job.

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  • 01
    "You're wrong, lady."
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  • 02
    IT support at work condescending towards me
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  • 03
    I'm a computational biologist that works in an institution with higher security, so I don't directly have admin access to my machine. This is annoying but part of the job, and leads me needing to reach out to IT a lot to put in an admin password when I need to install new software or updates.
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  • 04
    My relationship with them was fine at the start, but has gotten worse and worse. I'm not the only one that has difficulty from them, but have also seen this really unfortunate pattern of them being condescending towards me when im trying to work through computational issues. Eg, I had some version issues last month and wanted them to install a few versions of software that I knew were compatible. They
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  • 05
    were really snide about it because I had newer versions of some of those things which 'should work'. Well, sure, but sometimes it doesnt, and it wasnt working for me. They are frequently on this high horse about how what im saying doesnt make sense, don't listen to me, but also don't actually offer solutions to solve the problem.
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  • 06
    I think they're not great to work with in general from chatting with other folks, but there's this extra layer of condescension that is frustrating. It could be that they're this way with others and I'm more sensitive to this, having experienced it a lot in my career, but either way it sucks.
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  • 07
    Has anyone here dealt with this kinda thing? Cautionary tales or advice? I'm stuck between not wanting to start any drama and not being able to get things done because they're consistently so rude and hard to work with.
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  • 08
    TSAIL TheFootBurn · 18 hr. ago I worked in that particular department. I know for a fact that not all of us act like that. When I started, I was warned people would treat us like we don't do anything or we are purposely breaking their machines. So they told us to always be short, careful and fast. It could b some people are not good with customer service but tend to forget that is a part of the job. It could be they are hearing all the cop other departments are saying and trying to limit interac
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  • 09
    The best advice is to just to use the system they have for issues. And include all the procedural approvals needed. A ticket with a managers approval will get us moving faster than an email or teams message. If they are asking 100 questions, it's because the ticket, email or message didn't really include anything to justify the need for tech intervention, like a ticket that says "app not working". It's too broad. But a ticket that says "older version of application not working with new software"
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  • 10
    According-Vehicle999 · 18 hr. ago I'm in IT currently --Thank you, I was sitting here typing and retyping a response - yours is much more concise than mine was. Reply Share ilikesnails420 OP. 18 hr. ago I've written other comments about how I structure my it help requests but I do use the system, and submit detailed comments about the issues. I only go to speak w them directly or over teams bc they do
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  • 11
    encourage reaching out that way, and also don't communicate back via the ticket system. I've worked at other organizations that use exclusively ticket system communication and I love that. It is not how things are done here, even when we submit tickets that way. The reason I posted here tho was more about condescending behavior towards me as a woman in tech (computational/data science) from our IT dept, and how to navigate that, get my work done while ruffling feathers minimally. I'm a PhD candi
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  • 12
    VT SAIL! a numbskull for suggesting perfectly reasonable routes to solve problems while not getting help, and also treated like a PITA when I have to go through them bc our org doesn't allow research scientists admin access. It's frustrating. 쇼4 Reply Share TheFootBurn 17 hr. ago Oh OK. I get it now. Oh honey I don't know how to help though. I still find myself in the same predicament. Even though we all do tech. My self personally I feel their is no bad person.
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  • 13
    Sometimes good people do bad things. Sometimes without reason. But that doesn't make them a bad person. Just human. Sometimes we let people mundane human actions affect us spiritually. But you are more than your career and you are more than an emotion. Sometimes we put too much value in that. People belittle us about one trait of us, we think it diminish all our overall value. Don't let them dictate your worth. If anything treat it for what it is, facetious.
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  • 14
    Matingris 18 hr. ago I work in IT and DAILY get people thanking me for being a decent person to speak to and peppy/kind. People get excited when they get me and are always like oh my gosh I'm so happy it's you and not XYZ. Sadly, knowing the rest of my team...I agree. I wouldn't want to call us either. People are absolute KS in IT. I try to stress to my team that YES we get the question 1000 times a day, but for every caller it's the first time they've asked so have patience!! 14 Reply Share
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    ilikesnails420 OP 18 hr. ago I've worked in academia a lot and see similar dynamics with profs/TAS/students. Like sweetie I know you teach the same thing every year but you realize they're different students each time right?? Reply Share
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  • 16
    Throwyourtoothbrush 20 hr. ago k OMG. IT can sometimes have the most di with power attitude. It's infuriating. My understanding is the issue often stems from IT having to constantly justify their operating expenses as they're usually set up as a department being funded by all the other departments and it's an expense on everyone's books, so they're asked to justify it aggressively. Also they're number one attitude is CYA because it's easy to blame someone outside of the department for any comput
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  • 17
    than being focused on accountability makes knee-j k into NEVER taking ownership of their mistakes until proven beyond a shadow of a doubt. 28 Reply Share ilikesnails420 OP. 20 hr. ago omg you described the situation here exactly, including a bunch of details I didn't bother to include. That is EXACTLY what I'm dealing with. I know they are struggling to justify expenses (and to hire more people) and
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  • 18
    they communicated that to the other depts recently. As a result we all got on board and followed their advice to submit tickets every time we have an issue, bc it helps them justify expenses. As you said, on top of this attitude I posted here about, there's this other layer of EVERYone passing the buck within different subsections of IT. I've had these major networking issues for the last 2 months and our on site IT guy has been fighting with networking saying its their job, theyre saying its hi
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  • 19
    my work. Eg, I manage this database that I can only access like 5% of the time. And when I try to share details about my issue like I was taught in grad school when requesting tech support, I get blown off and told 'that's not my job'. Aghhdhgkfjf. Sad but good to know it's not just 100% misogyny for once :,) 13 Reply Share
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  • 20
    Curlzmv87 20 hr. ago I work in an in house IT department and the language some employees use when talking to and about colleagues in non IT departments is so disrespectful and condescending. The managers do it, too, all the way up to the top. I refuse to treat my non IT colleagues in that way. I also get teated that way sometimes. And all the time by my immediate colleague. 9 Reply Share
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  • 21
    kichisowseri · 20 hr. ago It could be because by asking for older versions, they feel you're cutting them out from their specialism and process, when the real issue is "these versions of software aren't working together like the previous versions did, here's the specific problem, can you help" - that's their area and problem to fix. And if they can't, I'm sure they'd come up with the fantastic workaround of installing the previous versions for you.
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  • 22
    They should also be getting this more widely sorted unless you're the only person at the institution using software in this way which could come across as being awkward when they need to do their own analysis to verify the problem. Reply Share ilikesnails420 OP 20 hr. ago I respect that angle. I get that it could be annoying solving individual cases for version issues. In this case, I'm one of few people doing very computational work.
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  • 23
    Generally, I send details of the errors and what I can find from recs on stackexchange github, etc of other people experiencing the bug-- in this case I had a tutorial written by the developer for what to do if you get this error, and it was all about uninstalling and reinstalling different versions. It wasn't so much that i was asking for older versions of softwares that everyone has newer versions of-- actually, what i was asking for was actually a replica of the versions a coworker with the s
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  • 24
    I could see someone getting annoyed if they perceive me as trying to do their job for them or not respecting their expertise, but honestly, how to avoid that if you're in a situation where they're not helping or offering solutions in the first place? 4 Reply Share
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  • 25
    Material-Draw4587 · 18 hr. ago Make it your manager's problem if you're not getting what you need to do your work. They should be the one to escalate it, or at least set their expectations on your work if eg you can only access a certain database 5% of the time like you mentioned 4 Reply Share ilikesnails420 OP. 18 hr. ago I've taken some of these steps for sure, thanks for the reassurance that it's what I should be doing.
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  • 26
    STMemOfChipmunk 20 hr. ago And this is why there is such a thing as shadow IT. </facepalm> 35 Reply Share ilikesnails420 OP 20 hr. ago Learned a new thing today, didn't know what that is. Yeah, I could definitely see how these kinds of interactions would leave people to find alternative solutions when they're just trying to get their work done. Not that it's OK, but, I get it. △ 17 Reply Share
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  • 27
    STMemOfChipmunk · 18 hr. ago IT people are f ng themselves over. They should be saying YES to you unless it's something that security says NO over. So shadow IT happens (e.g., cloud), and the next thing you know the IT people are either let go because they got outsourced to the cloud, or they have to bone up on being a cloud engineer. 12 Reply Share
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management boss security male women workplace updates workplace stories reddit computational biologist software biologist Office computer female IT employees women in tech
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